Already half way over

WELL …summer is here! HOT, SWEATY S.U.M.M.E.R…It’s good for picnics, swimming, family gatherings, cookouts and all manner of fun. It’s not my favorite season, but I do enjoy the pool with the kids and grandkids.

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Much has changed since the last time I wrote to you. I declared that…

This year is going to be great no matter what.

It has and is very different from any other year so far. A time of change and growth, a time of joy and sadness, a time of learning and relearning again.  Most of all, summer means that things bloom and grow and my world and yours are colored with the brightness of new life and hope.  During the summer, anything is possible. We are alive! We LIVE!

Life can be stressful.

Our family times are crucial for our quality of life.

Some of the things that I do to relieve the stresses of life are playing dress up with the grandkids, taking them to the Carnaval, tinkering in the garden, grilling out or just having a fun day out in the sun. 

 

As the summer begins again, I encourage each of you to choose to make your weekend, nights or days off or just a few minutes in the morning, your time to live, love and laugh no matter what you are going through or facing.

Here’s a Passionista Point

NO MATTER HOW YOU SEE THESE GLASSES:half full

  • HALF FULL
  • HALF EMPTY
  • SOMETHING ELSE THAT NEEDS TO BE WASHED
  • CONTAINERS TO CARRY WATER IN
  • TWO SOMETHINGS FOR YOU TO DRINK.

The way you see the glasses is who and what you are at this very moment in time. It can change to any of the examples I’ve given or one of your choosing. It’s part of the life process we allllllll go through. How you see the glass is neither right or wrong but a reflection of WHERE you are in your life’s journey…RELAX~~ enjoy the ride, Hon Bun!

Weeping can endure for a night but thank GOD, joy comes in the morning. Each day is new and precious! Revel in it. Savor each second like it is your last! Pause before you correct the toddler for throwing a shoe at the cats.  Remember that the teenager in front of you is just as scared as you are about their future. It’s okay that they want pink, blue or green hair. Remember your personal style when you were fifteen. Yes, your boss takes most of the credit for your hard work, but most people know that if it weren’t for you, nothing would ever get done in your department.  Yes, your mate has left the clothes in the bathroom once again. They expect you to be the clean freak that you are and pick them up.

Celebrate the fact that you have that toddler, the shoes, and the freakin cats. Some of us don’t have kids, shoes or even feet! (I LOVE MY CATS TOO)

Celebrate that teenager with the purple hair! Some of us have lost our teenagers to drugs, gangs and other tragedies!

Celebrate your jack wagon boss! At least you have a job and a paycheck in these trying times.

Celebrate your mate! Some of us are lonely, with no one to turn to and wonder what is the point of this oppressive emptiness.

Let’s celebrate this time in the light.

With ALL that comes with it

 

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I remember Momma.

My mom passed on November 16th, 2016. Just 35 days before her 82nd birthday. We’ve been back from Texas for about 2 years, living with her, helping to take care of her, etc.  She steadily grew worse over the last 10-11 months. Recently before she passed, we found out that in this time frame she had experienced two mini strokes and a mild heart attack.

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Nan and Leah

This was her with her great-grand baby a little under 6 years ago. She was a vibrant lady. I remember her going out bowling, to dances and everywhere. We took ceramic classes together when I was a ‘tweener. She raised my oldest daughter when I was lost and adrift on a sea of zombie induced heroin addiction.

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This is my oldest daughter, Jenn.

She prayed and cried! She packed bags of food and would ride up into Baltimore City with her girlfriend “Marge” to drop off money or food. She would pray and pray and she was able to finally rest every time she accepted the collect call from the jail. She knew I was safe and off the streets! She knew I had enough to eat, had a shower, soap, clean clothes, toothbrush and paste and the glorious 3 hots and a cot.  Then, she could finally sleep through the night.

So would hope against hope that I would get myself together. And eventually I did. Thank God I was done with all that 15 years ago. Toward the end, when the dementia set in, she would call me Juanita. That was her brother, Bud’s wife. Juanita has been gone for a long time.  She would say, “I know you are Barbara, but what happened to Juanita”? Often she would ask, “What day is this?” or “Where is Tia?”-

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This is her with Tia for her Homecoming in Oct. 2016

she’s my youngest daughter (who is 16).  She always wanted to know where all of my children were.  Oh and even though towards the end of her days, she loved that great grand baby. My oldest daughter, and my brother Lenny and his wife, Jo Ann, well, let’s just say we weren’t her favorites.

She was mean as a snake one minute, and the next minute, she was as happy as a lark.  It was emotionally hard for everyone. I can honestly tell you there were days that I lost my temper! I mean I really lost it. And then I would pray and cry and ask both her and the Lord to forgive me. They always say take the bad with the good, because one day, they’ll be gone.

They were right! I’d love to see her give me the evil stare one more time! One more time, to here her say, “Where’s Juanita?” Or yell or laugh or what ever. I miss her. Alot! We thought we had more time. No one realized that 1 week after they put her on hospice, she would be gone. She was.

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my babies all grown up

My brother, his wife and my youngest brother Gene, decided it would be good for me to keep her house. My 16 year old could finish out her education in the High School she was going too. But that was a dream. According to the way she wrote her will, everything was to be sold and split between her 3 children, 3 grandchildren and 1 great grand baby. No way around it. So here I sit writing this 33 days after she had passed packing up her stuff and preparing to celebrate Christmas one last time. Surrounded by all of her stuff for 1 more go round.

I have 15 days to move into an apartment. We did get accepted but we still need funds to be able to pay for the electric deposit, rental deposit and the first months rent. I am asking that you send this link around as we are trying to raise funds on “Gofundme.com”

Here’s the link to the Go fund me page

If you can help, please help. If you can’t, please pray, send good thoughts and remember us as well gather for our first holiday without her. Cherish your family, friends, loved ones! Do it now because you don’t know when will be your last time with them. Give them an “I love you” every time you walk out, say good bye over the phone or text!!

Until next time,

Be a Passion Junkie by loving those around you and allowing them to love you.

 

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This is THE passion junkie–ME!